My baby boy is 4 weeks old today and I am still waking up each day excited, enamored and completely in love with this tiny little man. Right now, I am sitting on the bed with my babe between my legs and his head resting on me. He is staring up at me and smiling – his little eyes are sparkling and his hand is looking for mine and then clamps shut over my fingers. He copies my expressions and looks so relaxed and contented. He is mine. Mine to love and to protect for as long as I am here.
I am so excited that this is my life now. So excited that I can help to shape this little life in front of me; teach him love, compassion, kindness, fairness, laughter and fun. I have told him everyday since he was born how much I love him and I will continue to do this everyday. I stroke his face, his hair, his tummy and he looks back at me in awe. His little sounds captivate me. It’s amazing. I absolutely LOVE it.
I’ve heard people say that one of the biggest challenges about being a mother is losing your sense of self. I know its only 4 weeks and maybe things do change but at the moment, I’ve never been clearer about who I am. I have never felt so in sync with my purpose. Being a mum has changed my life, it has changed me. I don’t feel as thought it has taken anything away, if anything, I feel as though I have gained so much more. All the best parts of who I was before he was born and now this very maternal, loving, relaxed woman filled with so much love.
I feel I have become more, more of the woman I was before – having let go of any insecurities and am now suddenly filled with a new purpose; to love and to nurture this little man. My life has a new perspective, a new focus and that is to LOVE – not only to love my baby but to love my life, love my family and love my friends. It’s brought a new focus to generosity, patience, compassion and family.
My life has slowed right down – no more rushing around, no more fast paced busy life. I have time to smell the roses and the beautiful milky baby smell that now fills my heart, my sheets, my clothes and my skin.
This is love. This is motherhood.